|Why yes, that is my Fight Club poster to my right|
Making a film is hard. And mine didn't even have a plot. The assignment was to shoot scenes in a certain order and with specific requirements. I am being grading for my understanding and execution of exposure, composition, and focus. I honestly hope I understand all those things. I admit I struggled with the assignment because I haven't really learned how to do any of those things yet.
Another part of the assignment I struggled with was the creative process. With no need to create a narrative or any cohesive imagery I found myself pointing my camera abjectly at things. I feel like I could have at least tried to make it a little interesting. I feel like I lack vision. And I know this is only my first time using a camera, but I just don't have any ideas. Even in taking pictures I am not the best photographer; I point the camera and shoot. I have never been creative in a hands on sense. Give me a piece of paper and I'll write a story. Give me a glue gun and some paper and I'm helplessly lost. Some people are creative like that. I'm not one of them.
It is also difficult to create the image that you want while living on a college campus. I knew what I wanted to shoot, but for the most part actually making that happen was rather difficult. I got many strange looks as I was shoot people leaving class this morning. It made me wonder if the greats like Spielberg began this way, practically hiding out in the bushes hoping to get a good shot.
Another problem I think I have in all of this is that I worry about what other people think of me. I worry that people will think I am strange walking around campus with a camera. I am afraid that my project with be the worst. I am trying very hard to change all this, to develop some confidence in myself and my new abilities. Who cares if people think I'm weird carrying around a camera, I don't actually know any of them. My final result may not be the best, but I'm doing my best and that is all I can ask for. And who knows, maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am.
So now my film gets sent off to New York City for processing and I get it back in a week. As Alexandre Dumas says in The Count of Monte Cristo, "all human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope." So now I wait and hope that my film came out and that I don't get back an entire roll of under or over exposed film. That would be the worst.